The weight of what would become 2020 hit me with no warning.
I’m someone who thrives with a full plate and productivity, with a full schedule to keep me on track. When March 2020 came about and the world shut down, I was not mentally prepared to continue “thriving”. The truth is, I was burnt out. March 2020 forced me to take the time to look in the mirror, better myself from my core, and address the reasonings behind the “why” I’m “always busy”.
I thought I was sinking into enjoying having nothing to do but wait for the world to open again, but, in reality, I was spiraling. I was stress and depression eating. I was sleeping day in and day out. I was doing the bare minimum. I lost track of self-care. I didn’t focus on building and maintaining good habits. I felt like I was just existing.
I could go on about the trials and tribulations that continued to occur through 2020 and 2021, but I’ve stopped feeding energy into the “negatives” of that blip in time.
Through lots of prayer and meditation, I came to accept what I already knew – I have to stop feeling sorry for myself and start pushing in the direction I want my life to be.
I have to stop wallowing in a rut and start allowing myself the grace I need to grow.
I have to actively speak out positivity, actively appreciate what is, and actively find peace in knowing that what is meant for me is already for me.
And while it is easier said than done, I know that I can’t look back right now. I’m not moving in that direction. I have to move forward during this ongoing process of healing and self-understanding.
I am on a personal renaissance.
Welcome to my journey, a documentation of my thoughts and experiences, both old and new.